Disc One: Send Lawyers, Guns, and Pickles

1: All Your Frickin Base Already
Full version (1.9M) Clip (133K)

Yeah, you remember All Your Base Are Belong To Us, huh? Back when it was all the rage with the kids, I got this tune in my head and it wouldn't shake loose. Recording this was less creativity and more self-defense. As such, it's not really as polished as it could be, but eh.

2: Older (Cover)
Full version (757K)

A cover of "Older" by They Might Be Giants. EMusic used to have the original as a free track on TMBG's Long Tall Weekend, but don't anymore, damnit. Oh well, pretend you've heard it before you download this anyway, I guess.

3: Lippos
Full version (391K)

Originally "LiPpOS", but the capitalization was getting on my nerves. Lauries' Planet of Sound is a music store in my neighborhood, and they recenly moved a block south to a larger space. This was another case where a tune got in my head and wouldn't let me go until I recorded it. I have the commercial written in my head, too; that storyboard's fighting with me to get itself drawn, as well.

4: Naked (Four-Minute Cover)
Full version (4.7M) Clip (200K)

A cover of "Naked" by Assemblage 23, which is a heavy-beat EBM song. Makes it seem an odd candidate for an acapella version, but there you are. I can't help spotting the four or so mistakes in it, but I had to force myself to let it go, finally. There's a clip of the original on the A23 site in the "hear" section (it's on the album Failure), but if you like that kind of music, I'd highly recommend just buying the album.

5: Abe Vigoda's Dead (Premortem Mix)
Full version (5.6M) Clip (157K)
Music: Bauhaus (cut from "Bela Lugosi's Dead")
Lyrics: Greg Peters and myself

At Debb's suggestion, I recorded a parody of "Bela Lugosi's Dead", with most of the lyrics written by Greg Peters.

6: O Nutria
Full version (3.5M)
Lyrics (coda): Greg Peters and myself
Guitar (coda): Scott Fischer

Louisiana has an overpopulation of Nutria, a semiaquatic rodent technically named myocaster coypus but more commonly known as "swamp rat". They're destroying the swamplands by eating all the cypress that holds it down, so the state wants to limit their reproduction. How do they do this? One, pay trappers $4 for each one they kill, and attempt to convince people to use the furs for clothing; two, attempt to convince people to eat them. Really. More details at nutria.com, which used to have a bad midi-based NutriaSuite Theme Song, the suckitude of which inspired me to write my own Nutria anthem.

7: Umati (in progress)
Full version (1.3M) Clip (88K)
Drums: some drum software I currently forget the name of

The is loosely based on music at the end of Parasite Eve. This is all I have done so far; need to get together lyrics and some non-chorus parts.

8: The Ninja-Zombie Show
Full version (569K)

A theme song I put together for Scribs.

9: Don't Listen To Arcanta
Full version (3.1M)

Several years ago, Debb and I went to a Faith and the Muse concert, and the opening act was this guy, Arcanta. He was all chanty and reverby and kinda world-musicky, which was kinda neat but kinda tiresome, but the main problem was that he went on forever. The little venue had strict show end times, so they had to cut their concert short. This really kinda ticked us off, because they only rarely tour.
So, I wrote the lyrics for this song that night, and finally recorded the damn thing.

Disc Two: Pastblaster

In our high school years, a friend of mine (let's call him John) lived down the street from a park where the cool kids hung out. The jocks' entertainment mostly consisted of playing basketball all day and doing drugs. John and another friend called them "the Parkies", and had the idea for a Beastie Boys-style rap song based around the phrase "relate it, relate it, with such feeling, shoot the basketball through the ceiling." Back then, I wrote one myself and recorded it and gave it to him. Recently, I got the thought to use my newfound musical superpowers and remake it for him, something like 15 years later.

For context: back then, there was some interest in putting a minature golf place in the neighborhood, but there were too many complaints about the idea, on the basis that it'd be a place where kids could get together and do drugs. Pretty stupid, since they were already doing that three blocks away and no one seemed too concerned about it.

1: Relate It (Redux)
Full version (2.7M) Clip (400K)

The new one. In case this leaves any doubt in your mind, let me assure you: I can't rap. I like the music much better.

2: Relate It (Damned Cheerleader Mix)
Full version (2.5M) Clip (400K)

If you've listened to the other songs on this page, you can't be surprised I did a choral version.

3: Relate It (Redux Instrumental)
Full version (2.2M)

Instrumental. I'm especially happy with the transition to the middle part.

4: Relate It (Old School)
Full version (2.3M)

Oh dearie me this is embarrassing. Debb actually managed to find an old cassette tape which had the original version, which I consider a mixed blessing. I did it on a primitive 4-track recorder, and this cassette tape is over 15 years old so the quality degraded somewhat, so...eh, well, I should stop making excuses for it.